Blog 8/31/17

  • I was reading a book and it was talking about something that I, if not agree with, understood what it was saying.


    Every night, while the lights are off and everything is quiet…my eyes are closed and my thoughts pooling in my head as I lay down in my bed.  Like a ground hogs day movie…I’m left with the same feelings…a feeling of wanting…desiring…a vast emptiness where something should be.


    I look at the people of the world and to them suffering from neither loss nor tragedy, but from desire and denial.  To them, suffering is no famine or drought.  Suffering is a belly not yet full to bursting, a mouth that drank water instead of wine.  To them, suffering is something temporary, to be over come, to be put aside and placed on a mantel with all their other things.  To people in the free, suffering is a novelty, to me it is life.


    Whether I ignore or acknowledge it, it still lies and waits for my attention.  It wrapped around me deep inside.


    But I stare at it defiantly.  I laugh at it.  The disappointment…the loss…the rejection…the loneliness all makes me more determined to be better, to help more, to be more of a role model.


    Everyday…every encounter…I feel like I’m putting a new text, a new line on my eulogy creating a legacy of greatness.