I love being a mother, my kids are my life and are what keep me sane, but damn it like any normal person I like to be able just one thing that is mine alone. Whether it be a movie or a book, or a computer i have to have for college, just something I can say i apud for that is mine something i dont have to share with anyone else that is mine alone. I have a laptop that i use to watch movies, do hime home and to talk to friends and family on line and it was working fine today when i left for school than i come home and try to watch a movie before bed like usual and lo and behold i now have no sound on my computer at all. I have trying doing aa restore on and messing with the settings of the sounds and playing with the sound moxer and than I asked the magical question was there any thing on aor around my computer that got spilled possibly while i was at school. My daughter finally tells me that some gatorade was spilled but she didnt think it had reached my computer now i know that is not the whole truth but she already is lying here next to me in bed crying because she knows this is the only thing i have left to call my own since every dime i have or earn goes to supporting her and her brother and trying to save enough to get our own place but still i cant help but be angry i mean i try to be nice and everytime i do i get screwed i spent 700 on this computer so i would have it for school and entertainment here and there and now i cant even do that much i mean it helps me to have back ground noise when i am doing home work and i now have no sound at all i am going to litterally go nuts!!!! I am not mad at my kids they are kids accidents happen i am mad at myself and a little depressed to say the least, this computer was my escape, where i could just disapear in to my games or conversations with my friends and forget that i just went from being engaged to being single yet again and i know life will go on but my heart hurts, my kids can only do so much to make me feel better but i still hurt and all i want is to cry and throw things and be angry. I am starting to cry now so i am going to end this for now and get some sleep and hopefully things will be better in the morning maybe even a little brighter .
